I can remember it all as if it was yesterday. December 4th, 2007, I had a scheduled sonagram entering my third trimester; 6 1/2 months and I was finding out the sex of my unborn child. I sat there impatiently waiting with my boyfriend. The floor beige with specks of dirt and room was getting crowded to where I could here the next person breathe. "Cristina Sencion", my name was called and I got up my boyfriend stayed behind as standard procedure. I walked into the same room I always end up in. Got ready and layed back excitingly waiting to hear the sex. "How far along are you again?" He asked, "about 6 1/2 months I answered laying still. He then kept silent, I continued to ask if the baby was in the same position as last time and he told me yes. He got up and said he would be right back, left the room and I layed there. My first instinct was why wasnt he saying much, but I just kept assuming it was still difficult to identify the sex. Five minutes later he enters the room with the doctor. I didnt know what to think so I sat up to hear what was going on. "I'm afraid your babies heart stopped beating." Those words most of tore my heart a million times over and over because it couldnt seem possible. IT WASNT REAL, IT COULDNT BE....I MUST BE DREAMING. Not realizing the amount of tears that had already fell I couldnt even whisper a word. I sat there crying for what seemed years. When my boyfriend walked in I felt as if I had failed him, his first child. Was it me? Could have I done anything different? I couldnt even lift my head to say a word. After he questioned the doctor a million times we went to my doctors office where yet again I saw a thousand pregnant happy woman, I felt like I was in a twilight zone and couldnt get out of it. We scheduled an appointment with a specialist. The next day we went to the doctor and I got admitted into flushing hospital. Thirteern hours of labor and the day after December 6th, 2007 at 7:51 A.M. I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy Makia Elias Mclaurin 1lb 2 1/2 oz. It was the most painful experience physically and emotionally. I never cried so much in my life and all I know is I must of asked god a trillion times why did he take my baby away from me. A whole 6 and a half months I spent with him and so fast he was taken away. I got to see him and hold him, my family got to see him. He was fully developed and already were picking up his fathers features.
We gave Makai a proper burial clothed and with a toy from us. My family and friends showed support and loved and cried with me . It took me months to actually deal with it. I have his footprints and handprints his clothing that we had previously bought and pictures put away for memories. It was alot to take in.
Everyone I knew was having a babies left AND right! People sit here and think that getting pregnant is the worse. That its impossible but NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. The people that really want children cant have them and the people who can take advantage of it all and just get rid of it with no hesitation. SOME ARE LUCKY AND OTHERS ARENT the only thing I can say is unfotunately I wasnt lucky enough nor was I blessed long enough. I was hurt and never healed. But what I do hope is people take the time to think what they are doing. As soon as a child is made it is a life no matter the size. Loosing a child is tremendously a hard thing to deal with and I do hope in the future I will be blessed with another. I still go to visit my son as his burial site and go and talk to him. He'll be one in December time flys by fast.
WHAT KEPT ME TOGETHER:
=The Cord=
We are connected, My child and I, by An invisible cord Not seen by the eye. It's not like the cord That connects us 'til birth This cord can't been seen By any on Earth. This cord does it's work Right from the start. It binds us together Attached to my heart. I know that it's there Though no one can see The invisible cord From my child to me. The strength of this cord Is hard to describe. It can't be destroyed It can't be denied. It's stronger than any cord Man could create It withstands the test Can hold any weight. And though you are gone, Though you're not here with me, The cord is still there But no one can see. It pulls at my heart I am bruised...I am sore, But this cord is my lifeline As never before. I am thankful that God Connects us this way A mother and child, Death can't take it away!
Author Unknown
We gave Makai a proper burial clothed and with a toy from us. My family and friends showed support and loved and cried with me . It took me months to actually deal with it. I have his footprints and handprints his clothing that we had previously bought and pictures put away for memories. It was alot to take in.
Everyone I knew was having a babies left AND right! People sit here and think that getting pregnant is the worse. That its impossible but NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. The people that really want children cant have them and the people who can take advantage of it all and just get rid of it with no hesitation. SOME ARE LUCKY AND OTHERS ARENT the only thing I can say is unfotunately I wasnt lucky enough nor was I blessed long enough. I was hurt and never healed. But what I do hope is people take the time to think what they are doing. As soon as a child is made it is a life no matter the size. Loosing a child is tremendously a hard thing to deal with and I do hope in the future I will be blessed with another. I still go to visit my son as his burial site and go and talk to him. He'll be one in December time flys by fast.
WHAT KEPT ME TOGETHER:
=The Cord=
We are connected, My child and I, by An invisible cord Not seen by the eye. It's not like the cord That connects us 'til birth This cord can't been seen By any on Earth. This cord does it's work Right from the start. It binds us together Attached to my heart. I know that it's there Though no one can see The invisible cord From my child to me. The strength of this cord Is hard to describe. It can't be destroyed It can't be denied. It's stronger than any cord Man could create It withstands the test Can hold any weight. And though you are gone, Though you're not here with me, The cord is still there But no one can see. It pulls at my heart I am bruised...I am sore, But this cord is my lifeline As never before. I am thankful that God Connects us this way A mother and child, Death can't take it away!
Author Unknown
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